Worn Out

I don't know how many times I have had someone come to my house and say, "Man you have a lot of stuff." OR "Your kids must have been playing earlier?" OR (My favorite) "I clean houses all the time but they are rich type houses and don't have stuff sitting around like yours does." I am always like REALLY?! Do you NOT have kids? Do you NOT get too tired to clean? Do you keep your kids tied up somewhere so that they DON'T make a mess? I mean really. No, my house is not ALWAYS spotless. Far from it. NO, I don't ALWAYS pick up all the toys because I know that my wonderful kids WILL be back to that spot in a bit to play again. I have gone to houses before that stay immaculate and I wonder, they must ALWAYS be cleaning. Like NEVER sit down. I am then reminded of something I have read online before, and might even make into a sign for my house.

Our house is lived in,

It is NOT for show.

If you don't like the mess,

You know where to go.

Let's face it. As moms, whether you are a full time working mom, part time working mom, or a stay at home mom, we ALL get to that point where you just DON'T want to clean. It's ok to let the living room stay a mess for a day or two. It's ok to save the dishes for tomorrow, because lets face it NO ONE likes to do dishes. It's ok to just SHUT your kids bedroom door and ignore the mess that is behind it. It will NOT make you a bad mom. It just means you are a tired mom, who has had a long day or just doesn't feel like doing whatever it is right then. Embrace the new, it's okay to be this way for a day or two, you.

Here are a few tips for those of you who need a little help in deciding what you should and shouldn't do.

TIPS FOR THE WORN-OUT MOM

1. Lower your standards for cleanliness and order.

2. Did that? Lower them even more.

3. Your house will never look like a magazine spread, period. Embrace that.

4. No matter how many baskets you buy to contain toys, they will always be visible. Embrace the Toys ‘R Us/ frat house-chic decor.

5. You can never have too many Popsicles in the freezer. How many bad moods have been fixed by a simple Popsicle?

6. If you can’t change them, change your perspective. For example I read recently – probably on Satan’s website Pinterest – that toothpaste is great for cleaning things like faucets. So now when I go into the bathroom every day and see toothpaste splatter all over the bathroom faucet, I think about how my children have done half the chore of cleaning for me. How considerate of them! Then I wipe it off while cursing.

7. Those chores that no one ever wants to do. Decide if you would rather do it yourself, badger your child to it, or let it go. If you are confused about what to do, see Number 1 on this list.

8. No one cares what is stuffed under your child’s bed, why should you. Unless it is old food. In that case, you should get a dog.

9. If you have boys, your bathroom will always faintly stink like pee. Invest in some Febreeze. Then count down the days until they move out. Then you can go visit them and pee on their bathroom floor.

10. Don’t buy white furniture. Unless you enjoy screaming at your children every time they go near it.

11. However bad a situation might seem, one day it will be funny. I have a few for which I am eagerly awaiting for the funny to kick in. Any time now….

12. When your child is a young teen there will be nothing more embarrassing than your very existence. Use this to your advantage. Start planning early.

13. Do not paint any walls in your house with flat paint. (Unless it is the washable kind. But it WILL cost you extra to do so.)

14. Be okay with letting your kids stumble sometimes. Whether that is turning in an assignment late because they didn’t do it or wearing an outfit so hideous you have trouble looking at them without laughing.

15. Noise cancelling headphones are great for blocking out whining, bickering and the endless episodes of Sponge Bob.

16. Socks do not have to match. Every day is Crazy Sock Day at my house, which is infinitely better than Crazy Mom Day.

17. The crayons will break and it is okay to throw them away rather then save them to make some sort of craft that involves the hair dryer. In fact, I give you permission to not feel guilty about all the crafts you know you will never do.

18. Your children will not die from eating the occasional hot dog or frozen pizza. And by occasional I mean more than you are really willing to admit.

19. If your children are driving you crazy arguing with each other, start an argument with them. Then your children will bond over their mutual hatred of you and be quiet.

20. Children do not appreciate top sheets or high thread counts. Buy neither.

21. Homework time is the worst time of the day. Help your kids and yourself by having a designated time and a quiet place to do homework. Preferably in a neighbor’s home.

22. Just say NO to ironing.

23. Last, but not least, some chocolate and some really bad TV makes everything seem a little better.

Hopefully this has made your day just a little bit better and you are well on your way to embracing the new you.

Drama

drama

Something women, some men, and especially teenage girls thrive on. Consisting of any number of situations that have an easy solution, which would bring a fairly good outcome. But these people choose another shitty, bad way to deal with it. Consisting of backstabbing, blackmailing, gossiping, and betraying their friends. Unnecessary emotional turmoil that people love to cause and partake in. The most common causes of drama with women are love, sex, and relationships.  It drives men and what I like to call "normal" girls/women nuts. 

Drama.

Some people thrive on it.

It is what makes their day to day life worth living.

But why is it that some people are this way?

Its their way of relating to the world in which they consistently overreact to or greatly exaggerate the importance of benign events. Typically "drama" is used by people who are chronically bored or those who seek attention. People who engage in "drama" will usually attempt to drag other people into their dramatic state, as a way of gaining attention or making their own lives more exciting. Basically, DRAMA is an association of a bunch of drunken retards who still think that they’re in high school.  Drama is something that people do when they have NO life, are insecure, jealous, or just plan bored. 

Common warning signs/ risk factors of drama or a dramatic person are:

1. Having one supposedly serious problem after another.

2. Constantly telling other people about one's problems.

3. Extreme emotionality or frequently shifting, intense emotions.

4. Claiming to have experienced negative events that are highly implausible.

5. A boring job or mundane life.

6. Making claims without sufficient evidence or a lack of detail about supposedly serious events.

7. A pattern of irrational behavior and reactions to everyday problems.


How do I tell if I am one who loves Drama, you ask.

Well its simple. To be considered a member of DRAMA, you must have at least one of these symptoms. If you have any of these symptoms, please seek professional help immediately. Or, if all else fails, try growing up.


Signs of DRAMA: 

 If you only listen to one side of a story, and then form your opinion, you might be a DRAMA member. 
 If you take sides when two of your friends are fighting, which only adds to the DRAMA, you might be a DRAMA member. 
 If you worry more about what other people are doing, instead of focusing on yourself, you might be a DRAMA member. 
If you continuously gossip, or talk negatively about total strangers in a social setting, or talk about someone behind their back (whether it be friend, foe, or stranger), you might be a DRAMA member. 

In conclusion, my opinion is that there would be way less drama in life if people would face their own problems without blaming others for their emotions, acts, or thoughts, that they cant handle in certain situations because of pride or insecurities. I for one can not stand drama but someone ALWAYS seems to bring it to my door, Facebook, email, phone, etc. My advice to women, is to CHILL OUT. Life is not all that serious. You're eventually gonna die. So stop being petty and stop being jealous. Just because your husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, SO has a friend of the opposite sex does NOT mean that they are going to sleep with the person or cheat on you. Males and females CAN be JUST friends. Its possible. I know. I have a lot of male friends. And who can blame me. With the way females act these days.

Example:


"Oh, you're talking to my husband/boyfriend, you MUST want him." "How would your husband feel if he knew u were talking to another man."

To answer these questions:

1. NO. I do NOT want your man. I have one of my own thank you. One that is amazing and I have been married to for almost 12 years now. I am perfectly happy with my own man. Two or more would be way to much for me and completely wrong. 
2. My husband DOES know that I talk to other men/guys because I am FRIENDS with them. So if you come at him to try and make me look bad to make yourself look better, you will NOT like what you hear. He doesn't put up with that stuff and will tell you to fuck off and get a life.


Not everyone is out to get you in life. As soon as you realize this, the better off you will be. And the happier you will be as well. 

My Really! Moment of the Day 10/12/15

So, to all those that know me I grew up in what used to be a little town in Mississippi. And people would often say I am very redneck. I have done most things a redneck country girl has done. Cleaned a dear, plucked a chicken, shucked peas, shot a gun, etc. With that being said. Let me bring you all the way to present day me. I'm still your basic redneck country girl, but as my girl Lacey would tell you 'Ghetto Redneck." Ha! 

So yesterday I am preparing to cook a whole chicken in the crock pot for dinner. ( Which I have never done but it turns out it is fairly easy. ) So I set the, what I thought was fully thawed chicken, in the sink to take it from its wrapping. I get it all unwrapped and set in the sink. ( Now I am home with only my four year old son and he is in the back bedroom watching TV. ) I look down at said chicken and think (out loud) to myself, "I wonder if its like a turkey and has the bag of unused body parts in the damn thing?" So I proceed to pull the loose skin from the neck of the chicken and see that there is indeed a NECK in the chicken. ( It is also NOT fully thawed on the inside!) 

So I reach in to grab it and realize that it is NOT in a baggy. So out loud again I say, " Ew Ew, Ew Ew. Nope." I then reach over and grab my kitchen shears and begin to cut said chicken down the bottom of it to open it up. I again realized that it still has its LIVER too! So out loud again (and all this to myself as my son is still in the back of the house) I say, " Nope. Hell NO! I am not picking body parts out of a damn chicken. NOT happening. Mike will do this when he gets home." I then grab a huge zip lock, stick the freaking chicken in the bag and toss it in the fridge. 

So later that morning I am on the phone with my girl Lacey and I am telling her about this chicken incident. And she is just rolling. Come to find out she is EATING chicken. For breakfast! But not just any kind of chicken. A rotisserie chicken!! Who does this?! All my talk about livers and necks and shit has just made her lose her appetite so bad that she throws said chicken away! By this time we are BOTH just rolling! 

Lacey and I don't get to spend much time together or talk on the phone alot, as we live almost 4 states away from one another. But when we do get to talk, it is like NO time has passed. We still talk to each other the way we did when we were growing up and saw each other daily. And are ALWAYS laughing. 

Obviously there is just never a dull moment in my life. Or MY friends lives either. 

50 Things You Don't Need To Know

1. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
3. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
4. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
5. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
6. There are more chickens than people in the world.
7. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
8. On a Canadian two-dollar bill the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.
9. All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are suck on 4:20.
10. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
11. Dreamt is the only English word that ends in the letters MT.
12. Almonds are a member of the peach family.
13. There are only 4 words in the english language that end in "dous:" tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
14. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
15. An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
16. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
17. In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
18. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
19. The characters Bert and Ernie on sesame street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's It's A Wonderful Life.
20. A dragonfly has a life span of 1-6 months.
21. A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.
22. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
23. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
24. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
25. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
26. The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes.
27. There are 336 dimples on a regular golf ball.
28. The average person eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.
29. A cockroach can live 9 days without it's head before it starves to death.
30. A polar bear's skin is black. It's fur it not white, but actually clear.
31. Elvis had a twin brother named Aaron, who died at birth, which is why Elvis' middle name was spelled Aron: In honor of his brother. It is also misspelled on his tombstone.
32. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
33. More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
34. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
35. Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."
36. Marilyn Monroe had 6 toes on one foot (but apparently this one isn't true!).
37. If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.
38. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
39. Right-handed people live, on average, 9 years longer than left-handed people do.
40. The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.
41. The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start.
42. Typewriter is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
43. The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.
44. A snail can sleep for 3 years.
45. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
46. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
47. Vatican City is the smallest country in the world with a population of 1,000 and a size of 108.7 acres.
48. "I am" is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
49. No President of the United States was an only child.
50. The average chocolate bar has 8 insects' legs in it.

16 Facts you may not have known about redheads

1. Redheads don’t turn gray. Their hair turns sandy, then white.
They also are found to lose their hair later in life, more than any other hair color.

2. The most rarest hair color, in humans, is Red.

3. Red hair is a recessive trait. A child must inherit one hair gene from each parent.
Recessive hair traits come in pairs and Redheads are more likely, then other people, to be left-handed.

4. In ancient Rome, redheaded slaves were more expensive.

5. Gingerphobia is a fear of redheads. Gingerism is the bullying or prejudice of redheads.

6. Redheads have the thickest hair, with the least amount of strands.

7. Red hair is seen on the heads of only 4% of people, most of them exist in the UK.

8. In Denmark, it is a honor to have a redheaded child.

9. Several cultures throughout history actually saw redheads as evil.
Many redheads were put to death based on their hair color; it gave the impression that they were witches. Sad :(

10. Red hair is actually a genetic mutation.

11. There is a belief that redheads are prone to industrial deafness. Melanocytes are found in the middle ear.

12. A 2002 study found that redheads are harder to sedate than any other people, requiring 20% more anesthesia.
Inadequate doses can cause people to wake up during surgery and have increased recall of procedures.

13. Bees are thought to sting redheads more than others, for some reason.

14. In Greek Mythology, redheads turn into vampires when they die.

15. Redheaded clowns have origins in Russia.

Many of these facts are unbelievable to me, but very interesting.
Redheads have come a long way and are definitely here to stay. Red hair dye will always be a popular color.

16. I had to save the most unbelievable redhead fact for last… did you know that Marilyn Monroe was actually born a redhead? Crazy.

10 Things You Should Never Say to a Redhead

 Feb 16th 2010 By Rose Martelli

No, us redheads are not universally feisty and fiery; we're just pissed off from a lifetime of cheap, stereotype-laden come-ons that our brunette-tressed brethren never have to bother hearing.

(Yes, blonds have their unfair share of dumbbell jokes and pick-up lines to contend with as well, but everybody knows that everything they say about blonds is true.)

Do yourself a favor and ix-nay the following from your redhead repertoire:

10. "Do your drapes match the carpet?" Thank you for annihilating any naughty thoughts I may have had about showing you my interior decorating.

9. "Carrot-top." If you are the first, second or third adult ever to say this to a 6-year-old redhead, congratulations -- a first-grader finds you clever! Otherwise, you just appear to possess all the mental maturity of a first-grader, and I expect you'll shortly be peeing your pants in public.

8. "You know what they say about redheads ..." No, what do they say? No, really, what? You're not going to tell me? I really wanna know, what do they say, tell me what they say about redheads ... Ohhhh, is this one of those reverse-psychology things where I'm supposed to giggle aloud about what a bad girl I am? You wanna know what else is reverse psychology? Your thinking this is gonna work.

7. "Are you a natural redhead?" Yes, are you a natural retard?

6. "Fire-crotch." This is actually more offensive for its Lindsay Lohan connotation than for anything doing with my flammable lady parts.

5. "Titian." This is an antiquated synonym for red (specifically, a brownish-orange hue) that, first of all, is correctly pronounced tee-shin. Use it and I'll think you aren't just trying (poorly) to hit on me, but that you harbor a deep-seated, darkroom fetish for redheads that will ultimately render me a skin suit in your closet of depravity. Buh-bye.

4. "Don't you ever wish you were a blond?" I know you wish I were.

3. "Can I buy you a red-headed slut?" Save it for the type of girl who'd not only take you up on it, but actually think you quite the catch for offering: a slut.

2. "I bet you feel pain more strongly than most people." Yeah, yeah, I read about that study -- it's because we redheads have a mutated gene that produces an excess of something-something hormone that also signals a whatever-whatever sensitivity receptor. The point is, that is a creepy sentence to say. To anybody.

1. "If there's fire in the sky, does that mean there's fire in the hole?" As much a mood-ruiner as #10, with the added benefit of my now wondering if you've got gonorrhea.

Rose Martelli is a writer who has contributed to Men's Health, Glamour and Cosmopolitan, among other love-and-lust-centric publications.

My Really Moment Of The Day

Ok so today's really moment didnt actually happen to me but was was witnessed by me. It did however make me say Really and laugh out loud for sure. 

So today my daughter was babysitting at our home for 3 little ones. My husband had gone into the kitchen and was fixing him some lunch while Alex was fixing lunch for the little ones. When one of the little girls asks him,

"What is that big bump on your neck?"

(Now to those who dont know it or hasnt noticed my husband has a lymphoma, a collection of fatty tissue / tumor on the back of his neck but is not cancerous) 

To this he looks at her very serious and says,

"Its from all the kids I've eaten. Do you want to help make it bigger?"

LMAO REALLY?!

This little girl looks at him with her eyes so wide I thought they would pop out of her head. It was so funny. All she could say was, 

"No." 

And slowly walk away.

I tell you sometimes I wonder about my husband. I think scaring kids is a hobby of his.

My "REALLY" Moment Of The Day

I know I haven't been on in a while to blog but I decided today, with a little encouragement from my favorite cousin Tammy, that I would start my "really" moment of the day posts again. 

I know everyone loves them.

So, here we go. 

Enjoy!

So first off I need to take you back two weeks.

dododododododododododododododododododododo

(Insert Wayne's World time warp here)

So about two weeks or so ago I am at the bus stop with my daughter and she is standing in line for the bus. There is about 20 kids in line and she is prolly the 5 one in line. Well over by the side of the kids are these 3 little girls talking and carrying on. Well we see the bus coming and Kt walked over to hug and kiss me goodbye and these little girls think its ok to get in line where Kts backpack is in front of the other kids already in line. So I kind of stand there and was like

REALLY?

They hear me and guess took the hint and go to the end of the line. The kids all get on the bus and head to school. I walk home and begin my day. 

So back to present day:

dododododododododododododododododododododo

(Insert Wayne's World time warp here)

Ok. So. Today started out like any other day. My alarm went off at 5:45am, I crawled out of bed, woke the kids up, and began my day. I walk Kt up to the bus stop and sit on the curb and start reading my book. (The Van Alen Legacy : Blue Blood Series. GREAT book) Well I see the bus coming and so I get up and make sure Kt is in line for the bus and kiss her goodbye. When this lady leans over and says : 

Her "Do u see that little girl in the pink shirt?"

Me "Yea"

Her " That is my daughter and if you have a problem with her then u can come to me and the house over there with the swing on the porch"

Me " I havent said anything to ur daughter"

Her "She said u said Really when they got by your daughters backpack"

Me "No. I said really bc they broke in line in front of 20 kids who were already there."

REALLY?!

This lady is NEVER at the bus stop. We have never seen her. She had NO freakin idea what the hell was said or done that day 2 WEEKS AGO! Nor what goes on, on a daily basis. I am like who the fuck do you think you are!

Well she is behind me now she running her mouth and will NOT shut up! So after the bus leaves and I go to walk home I turn around and look at her and say REALLY?

I tell you what I am SO FUCKING SICK of these homely ass women who NEVER walk their kids to the bus stop, coming up there trying to start shit, when they cant be at the bus stop EVERY morning. 

I say:

GET OFF YOUR LAZY FAT ASS, GET OUT OF YOUR PJS, AND WALK YOUR ASS UP TO THE BUS STOP TO WATCH YOUR SPAWN OF SATAN. THEN NO ONE WOULD SAY ANYTHING TO YOUR RUDE SATANIC ASS KIDS!

I MEAN REALLY?! 

So I found out today that there is a Rule on Military Bases that says:

NO CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF TEN ARE ALLOWED OUTSIDE WITHOUT PARENTAL SUPERVISION. THIS INCLUDES THE BUS STOP!

I knew there was something to that nature but didn't know what it said till today.  Ignorant ass people. I hope they ALL get in trouble for not paying attention to their damn kids and letting their kids go to the bus stop alone while they stay in bed and be fucking lazy.  I would LOVE to stay in bed and sleep. But GUESS WHAT? I cant! Why? Because I have KIDS! Yep. Those little people who make my life worth getting out of bed every morning. Its also called being an adult. I think some of these damn military wives should try it.

~Fucking idiots~

People just PISS me the fuck off!

Why Handmade is "So Expensive"

I recently read an article that made me say YES the whole time I read it. Many of you may not know it but I make wreaths for your doors. That is any door. Front door, bedroom, Kitchen, whatever you like.

 "BACK TO SCHOOL WREATH"

"MILITARY WREATH"

Army

I also make Marine, Navy, Army, and Air Force.

Anyway. People have left mean comments about that I charge too much. Or if your prices were cheaper I would buy one. But what people don't understand is that there is a lot that goes into it. All my time and effort. It takes several hours if not days to make these. I have to drive to the fabric store to get fabric and to the craft store to get wreath forms and ribbon (which cost gas), bring the fabric home and measure and cut 3 yards of fabric (this takes several hours to a day to do since I am a SAHM and have 3 kids to take care of), then I have to put the fabric onto the wreath and apply the ribbon or 550 cord and any accessories that was requested. After all this is the delivery process. Which can be driving across the island (since I have some costumers that feel driving to meet me is a waist of their gas. I am sorry but it cost the same damn amount of gas to drive to you as it would for you to drive to me, your just too lazy to get off ur ass and pick up the stuff u ordered) or can be driving to the post office to ship somewhere. Shipping cost from here to the Mainland is a bit pricey. From 13.95 to 18.95. Not to mention it cost 50 bux to ship to Canada.

I only charge around 40.00 minimum for most of my wreaths. Which is way less than I should be charging. But I do so to try to beat the competition and also let my customers have a great price. But I have realized that my competition charges WAY more for her wreaths but they are getting WAY more business than I do. So those hypocrite people who say I charge too much go there to buy. And mine is WAY better quality. But I am partial.

Anyway. I have done my venting for the day. Read this article to see what I am talking about. 

Admiting and accepting

You ever had one of those moments when you wanted to really punch someone in the face? Yea that moment. The person is talking to you and you have the sudden urge to just punch them. Or your reading something someone you know wrote and you wish you could virtual bitch slap them from 2000 miles away.

That is how I felt this week. I am not one for Drama anymore. I hate Drama. I feel like I have been time warped back to High school when Drama is involved.

I feel that now that I am all grown up, can get dressed all by myself and all, that I am entitled to my own opinion. My dad always said that opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. And I have come to realize that.

Now, ones that know me, know that I am a BIG republican. I do not like nor did I vote for Mr President Obama. But that in no way means that I hate anyone who is not republican or that I put them down for their opinions. I see them post things all the time about their opinions and beliefs but I just keep on going. Why would I begin to expect the same courtesy? Why? Because we are friends. I have always been taught that friendship was more important than petty differences. Apparently not in this world.

I have also never understood why people think that every thing you post is about them. You see a picture or a statement that you like or think is funny, and u repost, and your automatically talking about them or putting them down. Really?!

I mean get over yourself. I do NOT live to please you. And NO not everything is about you. The world does not stop turning if you are upset. So stop acting like it does. I also dont understand why they want to act surprised when you say something to them. Its like DUH, you know me. What made you think I was gonna change real quick bc it was you I was talking to. That is not who I am.

OK. So now that I think I am done ranting and raving. And dare I say VENTING on MY blog. Then I guess its time that I got down off my High horse and admit I'm an asshole!