Worn Out

I don't know how many times I have had someone come to my house and say, "Man you have a lot of stuff." OR "Your kids must have been playing earlier?" OR (My favorite) "I clean houses all the time but they are rich type houses and don't have stuff sitting around like yours does." I am always like REALLY?! Do you NOT have kids? Do you NOT get too tired to clean? Do you keep your kids tied up somewhere so that they DON'T make a mess? I mean really. No, my house is not ALWAYS spotless. Far from it. NO, I don't ALWAYS pick up all the toys because I know that my wonderful kids WILL be back to that spot in a bit to play again. I have gone to houses before that stay immaculate and I wonder, they must ALWAYS be cleaning. Like NEVER sit down. I am then reminded of something I have read online before, and might even make into a sign for my house.

Our house is lived in,

It is NOT for show.

If you don't like the mess,

You know where to go.

Let's face it. As moms, whether you are a full time working mom, part time working mom, or a stay at home mom, we ALL get to that point where you just DON'T want to clean. It's ok to let the living room stay a mess for a day or two. It's ok to save the dishes for tomorrow, because lets face it NO ONE likes to do dishes. It's ok to just SHUT your kids bedroom door and ignore the mess that is behind it. It will NOT make you a bad mom. It just means you are a tired mom, who has had a long day or just doesn't feel like doing whatever it is right then. Embrace the new, it's okay to be this way for a day or two, you.

Here are a few tips for those of you who need a little help in deciding what you should and shouldn't do.

TIPS FOR THE WORN-OUT MOM

1. Lower your standards for cleanliness and order.

2. Did that? Lower them even more.

3. Your house will never look like a magazine spread, period. Embrace that.

4. No matter how many baskets you buy to contain toys, they will always be visible. Embrace the Toys ‘R Us/ frat house-chic decor.

5. You can never have too many Popsicles in the freezer. How many bad moods have been fixed by a simple Popsicle?

6. If you can’t change them, change your perspective. For example I read recently – probably on Satan’s website Pinterest – that toothpaste is great for cleaning things like faucets. So now when I go into the bathroom every day and see toothpaste splatter all over the bathroom faucet, I think about how my children have done half the chore of cleaning for me. How considerate of them! Then I wipe it off while cursing.

7. Those chores that no one ever wants to do. Decide if you would rather do it yourself, badger your child to it, or let it go. If you are confused about what to do, see Number 1 on this list.

8. No one cares what is stuffed under your child’s bed, why should you. Unless it is old food. In that case, you should get a dog.

9. If you have boys, your bathroom will always faintly stink like pee. Invest in some Febreeze. Then count down the days until they move out. Then you can go visit them and pee on their bathroom floor.

10. Don’t buy white furniture. Unless you enjoy screaming at your children every time they go near it.

11. However bad a situation might seem, one day it will be funny. I have a few for which I am eagerly awaiting for the funny to kick in. Any time now….

12. When your child is a young teen there will be nothing more embarrassing than your very existence. Use this to your advantage. Start planning early.

13. Do not paint any walls in your house with flat paint. (Unless it is the washable kind. But it WILL cost you extra to do so.)

14. Be okay with letting your kids stumble sometimes. Whether that is turning in an assignment late because they didn’t do it or wearing an outfit so hideous you have trouble looking at them without laughing.

15. Noise cancelling headphones are great for blocking out whining, bickering and the endless episodes of Sponge Bob.

16. Socks do not have to match. Every day is Crazy Sock Day at my house, which is infinitely better than Crazy Mom Day.

17. The crayons will break and it is okay to throw them away rather then save them to make some sort of craft that involves the hair dryer. In fact, I give you permission to not feel guilty about all the crafts you know you will never do.

18. Your children will not die from eating the occasional hot dog or frozen pizza. And by occasional I mean more than you are really willing to admit.

19. If your children are driving you crazy arguing with each other, start an argument with them. Then your children will bond over their mutual hatred of you and be quiet.

20. Children do not appreciate top sheets or high thread counts. Buy neither.

21. Homework time is the worst time of the day. Help your kids and yourself by having a designated time and a quiet place to do homework. Preferably in a neighbor’s home.

22. Just say NO to ironing.

23. Last, but not least, some chocolate and some really bad TV makes everything seem a little better.

Hopefully this has made your day just a little bit better and you are well on your way to embracing the new you.

Drama

drama

Something women, some men, and especially teenage girls thrive on. Consisting of any number of situations that have an easy solution, which would bring a fairly good outcome. But these people choose another shitty, bad way to deal with it. Consisting of backstabbing, blackmailing, gossiping, and betraying their friends. Unnecessary emotional turmoil that people love to cause and partake in. The most common causes of drama with women are love, sex, and relationships.  It drives men and what I like to call "normal" girls/women nuts. 

Drama.

Some people thrive on it.

It is what makes their day to day life worth living.

But why is it that some people are this way?

Its their way of relating to the world in which they consistently overreact to or greatly exaggerate the importance of benign events. Typically "drama" is used by people who are chronically bored or those who seek attention. People who engage in "drama" will usually attempt to drag other people into their dramatic state, as a way of gaining attention or making their own lives more exciting. Basically, DRAMA is an association of a bunch of drunken retards who still think that they’re in high school.  Drama is something that people do when they have NO life, are insecure, jealous, or just plan bored. 

Common warning signs/ risk factors of drama or a dramatic person are:

1. Having one supposedly serious problem after another.

2. Constantly telling other people about one's problems.

3. Extreme emotionality or frequently shifting, intense emotions.

4. Claiming to have experienced negative events that are highly implausible.

5. A boring job or mundane life.

6. Making claims without sufficient evidence or a lack of detail about supposedly serious events.

7. A pattern of irrational behavior and reactions to everyday problems.


How do I tell if I am one who loves Drama, you ask.

Well its simple. To be considered a member of DRAMA, you must have at least one of these symptoms. If you have any of these symptoms, please seek professional help immediately. Or, if all else fails, try growing up.


Signs of DRAMA: 

 If you only listen to one side of a story, and then form your opinion, you might be a DRAMA member. 
 If you take sides when two of your friends are fighting, which only adds to the DRAMA, you might be a DRAMA member. 
 If you worry more about what other people are doing, instead of focusing on yourself, you might be a DRAMA member. 
If you continuously gossip, or talk negatively about total strangers in a social setting, or talk about someone behind their back (whether it be friend, foe, or stranger), you might be a DRAMA member. 

In conclusion, my opinion is that there would be way less drama in life if people would face their own problems without blaming others for their emotions, acts, or thoughts, that they cant handle in certain situations because of pride or insecurities. I for one can not stand drama but someone ALWAYS seems to bring it to my door, Facebook, email, phone, etc. My advice to women, is to CHILL OUT. Life is not all that serious. You're eventually gonna die. So stop being petty and stop being jealous. Just because your husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, SO has a friend of the opposite sex does NOT mean that they are going to sleep with the person or cheat on you. Males and females CAN be JUST friends. Its possible. I know. I have a lot of male friends. And who can blame me. With the way females act these days.

Example:


"Oh, you're talking to my husband/boyfriend, you MUST want him." "How would your husband feel if he knew u were talking to another man."

To answer these questions:

1. NO. I do NOT want your man. I have one of my own thank you. One that is amazing and I have been married to for almost 12 years now. I am perfectly happy with my own man. Two or more would be way to much for me and completely wrong. 
2. My husband DOES know that I talk to other men/guys because I am FRIENDS with them. So if you come at him to try and make me look bad to make yourself look better, you will NOT like what you hear. He doesn't put up with that stuff and will tell you to fuck off and get a life.


Not everyone is out to get you in life. As soon as you realize this, the better off you will be. And the happier you will be as well. 

My Really! Moment of the Day 10/12/15

So, to all those that know me I grew up in what used to be a little town in Mississippi. And people would often say I am very redneck. I have done most things a redneck country girl has done. Cleaned a dear, plucked a chicken, shucked peas, shot a gun, etc. With that being said. Let me bring you all the way to present day me. I'm still your basic redneck country girl, but as my girl Lacey would tell you 'Ghetto Redneck." Ha! 

So yesterday I am preparing to cook a whole chicken in the crock pot for dinner. ( Which I have never done but it turns out it is fairly easy. ) So I set the, what I thought was fully thawed chicken, in the sink to take it from its wrapping. I get it all unwrapped and set in the sink. ( Now I am home with only my four year old son and he is in the back bedroom watching TV. ) I look down at said chicken and think (out loud) to myself, "I wonder if its like a turkey and has the bag of unused body parts in the damn thing?" So I proceed to pull the loose skin from the neck of the chicken and see that there is indeed a NECK in the chicken. ( It is also NOT fully thawed on the inside!) 

So I reach in to grab it and realize that it is NOT in a baggy. So out loud again I say, " Ew Ew, Ew Ew. Nope." I then reach over and grab my kitchen shears and begin to cut said chicken down the bottom of it to open it up. I again realized that it still has its LIVER too! So out loud again (and all this to myself as my son is still in the back of the house) I say, " Nope. Hell NO! I am not picking body parts out of a damn chicken. NOT happening. Mike will do this when he gets home." I then grab a huge zip lock, stick the freaking chicken in the bag and toss it in the fridge. 

So later that morning I am on the phone with my girl Lacey and I am telling her about this chicken incident. And she is just rolling. Come to find out she is EATING chicken. For breakfast! But not just any kind of chicken. A rotisserie chicken!! Who does this?! All my talk about livers and necks and shit has just made her lose her appetite so bad that she throws said chicken away! By this time we are BOTH just rolling! 

Lacey and I don't get to spend much time together or talk on the phone alot, as we live almost 4 states away from one another. But when we do get to talk, it is like NO time has passed. We still talk to each other the way we did when we were growing up and saw each other daily. And are ALWAYS laughing. 

Obviously there is just never a dull moment in my life. Or MY friends lives either.