I don't know how many times I have had someone come to my house and say, "Man you have a lot of stuff." OR "Your kids must have been playing earlier?" OR (My favorite) "I clean houses all the time but they are rich type houses and don't have stuff sitting around like yours does." I am always like REALLY?! Do you NOT have kids? Do you NOT get too tired to clean? Do you keep your kids tied up somewhere so that they DON'T make a mess? I mean really. No, my house is not ALWAYS spotless. Far from it. NO, I don't ALWAYS pick up all the toys because I know that my wonderful kids WILL be back to that spot in a bit to play again. I have gone to houses before that stay immaculate and I wonder, they must ALWAYS be cleaning. Like NEVER sit down. I am then reminded of something I have read online before, and might even make into a sign for my house.
Our house is lived in,
It is NOT for show.
If you don't like the mess,
You know where to go.
Let's face it. As moms, whether you are a full time working mom, part time working mom, or a stay at home mom, we ALL get to that point where you just DON'T want to clean. It's ok to let the living room stay a mess for a day or two. It's ok to save the dishes for tomorrow, because lets face it NO ONE likes to do dishes. It's ok to just SHUT your kids bedroom door and ignore the mess that is behind it. It will NOT make you a bad mom. It just means you are a tired mom, who has had a long day or just doesn't feel like doing whatever it is right then. Embrace the new, it's okay to be this way for a day or two, you.
Here are a few tips for those of you who need a little help in deciding what you should and shouldn't do.
TIPS FOR THE WORN-OUT MOM
1. Lower your standards for cleanliness and order.
2. Did that? Lower them even more.
3. Your house will never look like a magazine spread, period. Embrace that.
4. No matter how many baskets you buy to contain toys, they will always be visible. Embrace the Toys ‘R Us/ frat house-chic decor.
5. You can never have too many Popsicles in the freezer. How many bad moods have been fixed by a simple Popsicle?
6. If you can’t change them, change your perspective. For example I read recently – probably on Satan’s website Pinterest – that toothpaste is great for cleaning things like faucets. So now when I go into the bathroom every day and see toothpaste splatter all over the bathroom faucet, I think about how my children have done half the chore of cleaning for me. How considerate of them! Then I wipe it off while cursing.
7. Those chores that no one ever wants to do. Decide if you would rather do it yourself, badger your child to it, or let it go. If you are confused about what to do, see Number 1 on this list.
8. No one cares what is stuffed under your child’s bed, why should you. Unless it is old food. In that case, you should get a dog.
9. If you have boys, your bathroom will always faintly stink like pee. Invest in some Febreeze. Then count down the days until they move out. Then you can go visit them and pee on their bathroom floor.
10. Don’t buy white furniture. Unless you enjoy screaming at your children every time they go near it.
11. However bad a situation might seem, one day it will be funny. I have a few for which I am eagerly awaiting for the funny to kick in. Any time now….
12. When your child is a young teen there will be nothing more embarrassing than your very existence. Use this to your advantage. Start planning early.
13. Do not paint any walls in your house with flat paint. (Unless it is the washable kind. But it WILL cost you extra to do so.)
14. Be okay with letting your kids stumble sometimes. Whether that is turning in an assignment late because they didn’t do it or wearing an outfit so hideous you have trouble looking at them without laughing.
15. Noise cancelling headphones are great for blocking out whining, bickering and the endless episodes of Sponge Bob.
16. Socks do not have to match. Every day is Crazy Sock Day at my house, which is infinitely better than Crazy Mom Day.
17. The crayons will break and it is okay to throw them away rather then save them to make some sort of craft that involves the hair dryer. In fact, I give you permission to not feel guilty about all the crafts you know you will never do.
18. Your children will not die from eating the occasional hot dog or frozen pizza. And by occasional I mean more than you are really willing to admit.
19. If your children are driving you crazy arguing with each other, start an argument with them. Then your children will bond over their mutual hatred of you and be quiet.
20. Children do not appreciate top sheets or high thread counts. Buy neither.
21. Homework time is the worst time of the day. Help your kids and yourself by having a designated time and a quiet place to do homework. Preferably in a neighbor’s home.
22. Just say NO to ironing.
23. Last, but not least, some chocolate and some really bad TV makes everything seem a little better.
Hopefully this has made your day just a little bit better and you are well on your way to embracing the new you.
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